Pressing On

I like that we're working on catching up; I find that after that last bunch of chapters my momentum is lagging. I'll probably see if I can't do another batch in the next couple of days before it runs out altogether. Josh is bringing the next Work & Glory book on Thursday...



Chapter 36: Beth is dying. She and Jo talk about it during their trip to the seashore, and it is obvious to Father and Mother when the girls return home. I cried my way through this chapter.

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Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die, ... And it shall come to pass that those who die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them.
D&C 42:45,47

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Chapter 37: Amy and Laurie meet in France at Christmastime and enjoy each other's company much more than either one of them expected to. As Kate said, the writing is on the wall.

Chapter 38: This chapter might be called "Meg Makes a Mess." While the lesson included is a good point, I have a hard time with the idea that Meg, former governess, is so completely unwilling to shape her own children's behavior! The indulgent parenting depicted is completely over-the-top and out of step with everything that she would have learned at home. Can you imagine sensible Marmee bribing her little ones into the behavior she wants? Meg should know better. However, the rest of it is completely believable. It's downright hard to find the right balance when babies come. They're such little sponges for attention! They're cute, cuddly, and helpless, and it's easy to neglect your husband. Mrs. March was in much better form with her advice and help this time. And I notice that it was accepted (unlike the jam debacle), so perhaps both John and Meg have learned a bit in the 2 years or so that they've been working on their marriage!

Hrumph

Well, for once I can't say that I enjoyed the chapters we've read. Jo is making a terrible mess, and it's not pretty to watch.

Chapter 33: This is letters home to Jo's family, which, for some odd reason includes, specifically, "a young man by the name of Teddy." Seems rather unkind, as she's gone away specifically to give him a chance to fall out of love with her. The sad thing is, she doesn't even know she's toying with him.

Chapter 34: Jo and the Professor get better acquainted. The Professor shows some jealousy toward Laurie's place in Jo's affections. Jo gives up writing sensational stories because they bother her conscience. It doesn't hurt that the Professor doesn't like them and she's sure that Mother and Father would also disapprove.

Chapter 35: Jo returns home, attends Laurie's graduation, then turns him down when he proposes marriage. Laurie decides to go abroad with his grandfather.

While Kate commented on Laurie's behaviors being less than ideal, which some of them are, I don't think that it would be as bad as Jo thinks it would be. Look at her reasons for not marrying him:

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I agree with Mother that you and I are not suited to each other, because our quick tempers and strong wills would probably make us very miserable, if were so foolish as to --" ...
"Marry - no, we shouldn't!" If you loved me, Jo, I should be a perfect saint, for you could make me anything you like."
"No, I can't. I tried it and failed, and I won't risk our happiness by such a serious experiment. We don't agree and we never shall, so we'll be good friends all our lives, but we won't go and do anything rash."

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Thing is, Jo has been able to influence Laurie, and he's influenced her. The fact that she wants to "be good friends all our lives" says to me that there's more to her feelings than she's allowing herself to see. Instead of asking herself what life would look like without him, she's acting based on fear that things won't be perfect. She's repeating the things her Mother said (which I still maintain was really bad advice) because she's afraid of getting married, afraid to change, and afraid of not being good enough. Look at what she says a little later:

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"I'm homely and awkward and odd and old, and you'd be ashamed of me, and we should quarrel ... and I shouldn't like elegant society and you would, and you'd hate my scribbling, and I couldn't get on without it, and we should be unhappy, and wish we hadn't done it, and everything would be horrid!"

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The problem isn't really Laurie at all, the problem is within Jo herself. What Laurie should have done is keep up with the changes that he's made, and see how they fit over the long term. Really, is longer hair that big of a deal? As changes go, that one seems rather trivial. Playing billiards also seems like a pretty little thing. The other change he seems to have made is working harder than before. While this is a bigger deal, I don't see the harm in bettering yourself, regardless of the cause. What Laurie lacks, and I think the thing that really costs him the girl in the end, is patience. He should never have proposed when he knew she was going to say no! He should have invited her to do fun things with him, to spend time with him. He should have made himself indispensable to her, and given her time to see that marriage, based on a good friendship like theirs, could be a wonderful and beautiful thing. Who knows what a year of learning his grandfather's business and continued friendship might have done for him. But instead of waiting for a better time, he forced her to tell him that she didn't want to marry, and thus dashed his hopes. I think that Jo herself realized, at the very end of the chapter, that it was the end of something special:

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Ah, but it wasn't all right, and Jo did mind, for while the curly head lay on her arm a minute after her hard answer, she felt as if she had stabbed her dearest friend, and when he left her without a look behind him, she knew the boy Laurie never would come again.

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Keeping with the Keepin' On...

Alrighty, so I know I just posted an installment yesterday, but I thought (since we'd talked about doing double for a while to catch up a little bit) I'd do another one today.

Chapter 36
Life is full of difficult truths. In this chapter, we explore the frailty of this human condition. Our dear Beth is fading before Jo's very eyes. With the money that Jo made during her summer in New York, she takes Beth on a trip to the seashore. While she enjoyed their time together, the trip did not have the effect that Jo was hoping for; Beth was still sick.
Beth is sick but at peace. She has found comfort in a faith that the Lord "could teach and strengthen heart and spirit for this life and the life to come. She did not rebuke Jo with saintly speeches, only loved her better for her passionate affection, and clung more closely to the dear human love, from which our Father never means us to be weaned, but through which He draws us closer to Himself."

Chapter 37
There's nothing like a rebound relationship to cure a broken heart. Ok, I don't actually think that applies in this case, but it was sure fun to say :)

So our boy, Laurie, has been wandering Europe listlessly for who knows how long, wallowing in self-pity and idleness (as he is wont to do) and then he meets up with fair Amy.

Again, knowing something of the plot (from having seen the movie), I can see where things are going and I recognize that this foreknowledge probably heavily influences my opinions of our story. But I can't help but notice that Laurie has taken a new notice of little Amy.

Amy is not blind to the changes in Laurie, though she is unaware of their cause. Laurie is taller, older and quite handsome, even if a little broody and a mite artificial, and she found herself "conscious of a very natural desire to find favor in his sight". So she got all cuted-up (and it will be noted that he did as well) and they met again that evening for a party. Her efforts did not go unnoticed, or unappreciated and throughout the night they talked and the result was that Laurie found himself liking her more and more and "devoted himself to her for the rest of the evening in the most delightful manner; but the impulse that wrought this agreeable change was the result of one of the new impressions which both of them were unconsciously giving and receiving."

Initially when they met, Laurie was aloof and not quiet himself (as Amy remembered him). But, it seems that seeing Amy sparked a change in Laurie that day, almost on the subconscious level. He spoke more genuinely, he sat up straighter.. not because he thought she wanted it of him, but because he wanted to. By that, I feel, we are witness to the very beginnings of what is to come. And, I think, it's a surer foundation for these things to be built upon.

Chapter 38
I thought this was a very sweet chapter. I really enjoyed the dynamics presented and the lessons learned by Meg and John. And I was heartened to see that it lead to a better division of labor.

Meg was feeling overwhelmed and stressed and essentially neglecting her husband in her devotion to caring for her children, whom they both loved dearly. To compensate, John took to having dinner at a friend's house and talking politics. When this finally penetrated Meg's frazzled brain, she was sad but didn't want to appear a clinging wife so she didn't say anything but became increasingly stressed and despondent.

Eventually, the wise Mrs. March stepped in and offered some hard-earned advice. She pointed out that, while she was sympathetic to Meg's feelings of being neglected, it was actually Meg's actions that had largely brought about these circumstances; by devoting herself 100% to the kids and never sparing a moment for her husband she had sent a message she had not intended to send. Mrs. March said, "Don't neglect husband for children, don't shut him out of the nursery, but teach him how to help in it. His place is there as well as yours, and the children need him. Let him feel that he has a part to do, and he will do it gladly and faithfully, and it will be better for you all."

And in implementing it, Meg found it to be sound advice. Her coddling her children was causing them to walk all over her, and John was willing to be stern and let the children understand that there needed to be boundaries in all things, even bed-times. Once a clearer law was established, and the parents remembered to think of each other as individuals as well as parents, peace was restored and the home became a haven of love and support that even those outside the family noticed and enjoyed partaking in.

These are wise words of counsel and something that I think would be good to keep in mind as I go forward with life.Who doesn't want a home like that?

The Winds of Change

Chapter 33
In this chapter, we read about Jo's adventures as she begins her summer in New York. It seems that the boarding house is a bit of a change for her; it is big and full of strangers, she does have some homesickness and mainly keeps to herself and really only talks to Mrs. Kirke and the kids she's teaching. However, Jo is still Jo and she takes great interest in her surroundings and finds pleasure in "people watching"; the most interesting tenant is Professor Friedrich Bhaer.

Considering our recent discussions about who we think Jo should marry, I admit I paid extra attention to the descriptions of Professor Bhaer that Jo used. He intrigues her; he's intelligent and humble. She thinks very highly of him.

I also find it interesting that, while we don't see any letters that others send to Jo, she does comment on things she has received and it seems that Laurie has gone silent for the summer and doesn't write to her at all while she is away. Is he silent because he's so absorbed in throwing himself into his studies, in "fixing" himself for her? Is he just so certain that she'll come around that he doesn't bother to write?

Chapter 34
Jo begins publishing more of her "trash", and she is not proud of her work, but saves her money and plans grand things for Beth. She rationalizes that, since the money will be spent on good things, it's ok that she writes things that she's ashamed to put her name on. Also, while she didn't notice the subtle changes, writing that stuff, looking for the drama in people, altered the way Jo looked at others, and at life. And not for the better. It is only when she discovers that The Professor doesn't approve that she stops churning out the "sensational" stories and stops writing, temporarily, to ponder what better options and subject matters are out there.

In this chapter we get a deeper glimpse into The Professor's character. He is wise, and sees much.. but he is gentle with his guidance; he inspires Jo to be a better person.

At the end of the chapter, having seen a lot and grown up significantly, Jo returns home.

Chapter 35
This was a rough chapter to read. It was so sad to me to watch Laurie try so hard, feel so strongly, and leave unsuccessful. Still.. I think that Jo was very wise (and brave) to say no, and stick with it.

In an attempt to win Jo's love, Laurie changed many of his behaviors (the ones which Jo disliked). He said, "I worked hard to please you, and I gave up billiards and everything you didn't like, and waited and never complained, for I hoped you'd love me..."

Changing one's behaviors drastically to win over another is a major red-flag to me. While I do think some of those behaviors were best stopped, it wasn't that he was changing and becoming a better man, he simply had an objective and goal that he wished to achieve and altered his behaviors to achieve that. I don't think that there is much substance in his rash promise that "If you loved me, Jo, I should be a perfect saint, for you could make me anything you like." Also, getting married because "Everyone expects it. Grandpa has set his heart upon it, your people like it, and I can't get on without you. Say you will, and let's be happy. Do, do!" would only lead to unhappiness down the road.

To me, Laurie seems to very immature in his thinking in a lot of ways. He's always gotten what he's wanted by being charming and persuasive. He's not a bad guy by any means, but he's not settled in a steady course; he still goes wherever the wind blows him. I think that lots of people want the best for Laurie: His grandfather, all of the Marches, and they offer advice and direction which he frequently takes, but ultimately, I don't think Laurie really knows what Laurie wants out of life, yet.

It made my heart ache to read about Laurie's struggles after that; as he wrestled with the emotions of a broken heart. Unrequited love is never fun. However, I applaud Jo in her wisdom and being firm in what she knew was right. In that, I believe, she saved them both from much worse heartache later.

Further Developments...

Chapter 30
I thought this chapter had some interesting ideas present in the circumstances described. I found myself admiring Amy a little more than I have previously. For example, when she and Jo went and did their social calls, I felt that Amy's behavior was a little over the top (as was Jo's, just in the opposite direction) and kind of stilted and unnatural and, over all, a bit confusing and silly. But I feel like, in Chapter 30, things were resolved and the necessity of her actions explained a little.

Originally I thought the social calls very silly and they seemed to me superfluous; why officially visit people you already are friends with? However, since reading this chapter, I now think that their social calls, though very foreign to me, were part of what was expected at that time. Also, from the reactions described in this chapter, it seems very likely that those calls were the first that the people had met personally the March sisters. Perhaps it was like they were "coming out" to society. And while I do feel this was a highly exaggerated example, I think we can learn that it often doesn't sit well with others or help ourselves in future encounters if we poke fun of others and act unnaturally.

Anyway, so Amy had to bear the brunt of peoples' reactions at the fair from Jo's behaviors. But she bore them very well. I liked what she said about her motivations for her non-retributive actions, "I can't explain exactly, but I want to be above the little meannesses and follies and faults that spoil so many women (Chapter 30, pg. 316)."

Chapter 31
While I do find that I am respecting Amy's character more and more, I do still think she's terribly silly. I enjoyed her enthusiastic and bubbly descriptions of the places they had visited, but I didn't care for that whole bit about letting Fred fall in love with her while she will accept, even though not in love; he's wealthy and fond of her and she hates poverty. That doesn't sit well with me. Amy sort of laughs off the idea that she "may be mercenary", but I think it a poor idea to marry for marriage's sake.

Chapter 32
I must admit that I was a little surprised to find a sort of love-triangle in our book. I do feel for Beth; Laurie is so gentle with her, and he is the only man she's not been afraid of, it seems natural that her maturing heart would be drawn to him.... but I don't believe that he thinks of her that way. Rather, it seems he has his eye on our Jo. But again, she doesn't think that way of him. It's a little sad.. It's never pleasant to see love go unrequited. However, I would have to agree with Marmee's assessment of the match with Jo and Laurie, though my reasons are slightly different.

I do agree that Jo, whatever her age, is not in a place where she is interested in or ready for marriage; Jo needs to "enjoy [her] liberty till [she] tires of it (Chapter 32, pg. 339)." There is much good that can come of being single; a strength that can come of such independence. I think Jo had something when she asked her mother on page 339, "...for I couldn't fall in love with the dear old fellow merely out of gratitude, could I?" To that I would answer a resounding NO.

But more importantly, Jo does not really respect Laurie. They are fine friends and have many great adventures together, but at the very core of things, she rather mothers Laurie. In that I feel they are not on equal plains; they would be unequally yoked. That is not the footing any marriage should begin on. Love comes from mutual fondness and deep affection built on a foundation of respect.

OK, I Cheated

I peeked ahead, but I did it online. Jo does, indeed, get married. But not to Laurie.


And now, on to the thinking part.


Summaries

Chapter 30: May Chester has revenge on Amy for Jo's pranks when they were out visiting. Jo talks Laurie and his boys into rescuing Amy from the out-of-the-way table she'd been sent to at the fair. Amy holds up with amazing grace. Jo learns that Amy, not herself, will be going to France with Aunt March. Jo works hard, and with success, at not spoiling Amy's good fortune with her regrets.

Chapter 31: Amy writes home to the family. She tells of the various sights she's seen and the art she has enjoyed. She also mentions that she thinks Fred Vaughn, of the English family at Laurie's picnic, may ask her to marry him. She says that if he does she intends to accept, though she is frank about not really loving him.

Chapter 32: Mother is worried about Beth, who is unhappy about something. Jo discovers that Laurie loves her and she runs away from it.


Ponderings:

I cannot help but disagree with Mother's advice to Jo! Mother says,

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"I don't think you are suited to one another. As friends you are very happy, and your frequent quarrels soon blow over, but I fear you would both rebel if you were mated for life. You are too much alike and too fond of freedom, not to mention hot tempers and strong wills, to get on happily together, in a relation which needs infinite patience and forbearance, as well as love." (Page 321)

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It is the first time that I have truly disagreed with what Mother had to say when advising her girls. Obviously, the way that Jo feels, nothing will happen in the immediate future, but I can't help but think that Mother underestimates the way that people can learn to get along with each other. It seems to me that the first necessary ingredient for a good marriage is a good friendship, and Jo and Laurie already have that. Were Jo to be inclined to accept his offer I think they could have done a good job of it.


I did a little math to try to figure out how old Amy is at this point. I think that 17 is the oldest that she could possibly be, and it is quite possible that she is only 16. The description of the girls in chapter 1 says that Meg is 16, Jo 15, and does not give an exact age for Beth or Amy. Still, the oldest that Amy would be is 13. She would have turned 14 sometime in the year that we witnessed in part one, and then had three years between part one and part two. So the oldest she could possibly is 17.

Meg was also 17 when John proposed to her, and Amy now is considering if Fred Vaughn will ask her to marry him, and says she intends to accept if he does. This is interesting to me. I have long thought that we, as a society, keep our children children for longer than may be good for them. In Meg's case, there was some talk of her being young yet when John asked her, but no scandal. In fact, the thing that folks talked about the most was his lack of money. So she was not extraordinarily young to be engaged. Now, Amy, at the same age or slightly younger, is also considering marriage. The thing that is interesting to me about this is that the concern here is also money, not age. Further, Meg and Jo dropped out of school (though not education) and began working relatively young. They had real responsibility, and it gave them real maturity. There's this from the beginning of the book:

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"When Mr. March lost his property in trying to help an unfortunate friend, the two oldest girls begged to be allowed to do something toward their own support, at least. Believing that they could not begin too early to cultivate energy, industry, and independence, their parents consented, and both fell to work with the hearty good will which in spite of all obstacles is sure to succeed at last. (Page 43)

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Mother has clearly put in some effort early on to teach the value of work, and the girls are good workers. But she drove home the lesson in chapter 11 with the week of "vacation," which the girls did not enjoy at all:

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"Mother, did you go away and let everything be, just to see how we'd get on?" cried Meg, who had had suspicions all day.

"Yes, I wanted you to see how the comfort of all depends on each doing her share faithfully. While Hannah and I did your work, you got on pretty well, though I don't think you were very happy or amiable; so I thought, as a little lesson, I would show you what happens when everyone thinks only of herself. Don't you feel that it is a pleasure to help one another, to have daily duties which make leisure sweet when it comes, and to bear and forbear, that home may be comfortable and lovely to us all? ... Work is wholesome, and there is plenty for everyone; it keeps us from ennui and mischief, is good for health and spirits, and gives us a sense of power and independence better than money or fashion. ... Have regular hours for work and play, make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life become a beautiful success, in spite of poverty."

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I think that you begin to see the fruits of Mr. and Mrs. March's teachings here in the second half of the book when the March girls are young, yet sensible and responsible. Ready for the challenges that their lives bring them. Responsibility, not age, seems to be the thing that creates an adult. When I look around the ward and consider the youth who seem the most "grown up" it is inevitably the ones who have real responsibilities in their homes. You can observe the opposite on any college campus: the most irresponsible are very often the ones who have parents who pick up the whole tab for the education, who make it all too easy. It makes me think that our society does wrong to its teens in expecting them to act like children, without any true responsibility, for as long as possible, rather than stepping up and acting like the young Men and young Women they are. Many things are different now than they were in the Civil War Era, and so our approach to teaching responsibility must be somewhat different than the March family's. But I do think that taking a leaf from their book and requiring work from children, from the time they are old enough to toddle around, is a very good idea.

The Importance of Manners

Summaries

Chapter 27: Jo begins to make money at her writing, and publishes several small "sensational" stories, as well as her first novel.

Chapter 28: Meg and John begin their life together. We read of some of her mishaps. She tries currant jelly, which won't jell, and then gets upset because John forgot and chose that day to bring home an unexpected guest. Meg also gives into temptation to live beyond her means, and they quarrel over money. However, mostly, it's a very happy marriage. The chapter ends with the introduction of their new twins, Daisy and Demi.

Chapter 29: I think this must be a set-up for something still to come, as it doesn't seem like much happened in this chapter. Amy and Jo went visiting, and they don't suit each other very well in this task: Amy likes to do it decorously, socially correctly, and Jo doesn't like to do it at all, and isn't very accommodating. Aunt March decides something during their visit, but we are not yet told what.


Ponderings

It seems to me that most of the "scrapes" mentioned in these chapters could have been avoided by making small adjustments in manners. Meg & John were not really communicating very well (which is pretty normal in a new marriage: communication is difficult!) but had Meg not been so terribly determined to not take family problems to her parents' house the whole thing could have been improved, at least. Plus, given that dinner was her responsibility (they both expected she would be the one that did the cooking), it really was rude to leave John and his guest hungry. She could have made up a little something that would have been better than exposing the disagreement to someone who truly WAS an outsider! That's a bit ironic, in my opinion, given the exaggerated "don't run home to Mama" posture they're taking. Jo, once she agreed to go with Amy, should have done a good job. Even the folks they visited hadn't been aware of her strange behavior, it wasn't a kind thing to do to Amy. Apparently, it's going to have repercussions...

A Little Perplexity

Chapter 27
This week's reading starts out with Jo beginning her career as a published author. She finds there's a market for light reading that pays quite well. While Jo is grateful for the extra money and she uses it to help her family (trips to the sea, paying the butcher bill and buying new carpet for the house), she seems to find little real satisfaction in it. In Chapter 27, page 270, is describes it like this:

"... so Jo was satisfied with the investment of her prize money, and fell to work with a cheery spirit, bent on earning more of those delightful checks. She did earn several that year, and began to feel herself a power in the house; for by the magic of a pen, her "rubbish" turned into comforts for them all."

So, it seems that she doesn't think much of the work that she is doing, and everyone has their own bit to say about it: Father says, "You can do better than this, Jo. Aim at the highest, and never mind the money." While Amy thinks "the money is the best part of it." Still, it seems that Jo feels that the results are worth writing the "rubbish". Plus, her success with her short stories gave her courage to give a go with publishing her real work: Her novel.

However, Jo takes to heart everybody's criticisms and it seems that the finished work that she submitted, little resembles the original story she had composed. Still, it ended well; the book was published and she was paid $300 for her efforts. But along with that money came a flood of "praise and blame, both so much greater than she expected that she was thrown into a state of bewilderment, from which it took her some time to recover (Chapter 27, pg. 279)."

In doing this, I think Jo learned that you can't always take to heart every little thing that people say, and she became a better person for it. The final paragraphs of Chapter 27 sum it up nicely:
"...But it did her good, for those whose opinion had real value gave her the criticism which is an author's best education; and when the first soreness was over, she could laugh at her poor little book ... and feel herself the wiser and stronger for the buffeting she had received.
"Not being a genius, like Keats, it won't kill me," she said stoutly; "and I've got the joke on my side, after all ... So I'll comfort myself with that; and when I'm ready, I'll up again and take another."

Chapter 28
Ah another installment of a deep look at what Ms. Alcott's view of marriage was. I'm afraid that I don't have as much patience with the authors views as Ritsumei seems to :) Though, I am curious if the version Ritsumei is reading (with its authors side notes and editorial comments) has anything to say about Chapter 28.

But as for me, I had a hard time with this chapter. Perhaps Ms. Alcott meant this chapter to be satirical. Maybe it's a humorous look into the very first months of marriage where the couple is undoubtedly learning to communicate for real. And I suppose there is some humor in the idea that Meg was so unreasonably determined to be "a model housekeeper" and perfect wife, and never ask for help that she brought all the trouble in the beginning of this chapter on herself.
And while the chapter begins with the statement that "[Meg and John] were very happy, even after they discovered that they couldn't live on love alone..." and "The little house ceased to be a glorified bower, but it became a home, and the young couple soon felt it was a change for the the better (pg. 280)", the story that follows doesn't seem to echo the same idea.

So, Meg says to John early on in their marriage (because she assumes it's what he wants to hear) that it's perfectly ok to bring anyone over at anytime because she'll be so perfect and the house will always be perfect it'll be no problem. Only, that was what he wanted to hear and he never questioned the reasonable-ness of it and just thought he'd won himself a capital little wife.

Then, one day, Meg, "fired with a housewifely wish to see her store-room stocked with home-made preserves", decided to attempt to make bunches of jam. Well, the jam making didn't go as smoothly as planned, and since she and John had resolved never to ask for help from anyone ever, she soldiered on alone making a complete mess of the kitchen and becoming very frustrated in the process. It was the unfortunate circumstance that this was the day that John, forgetting that Meg had this project planned, decided to drop in with a friend for dinner.. and from here the conflict begins.

Maybe it's supposed to be funny.. but I thought that the description of John was horribly arrogant and more than a little ridiculous and difficult to relate to:

"Congratulating himself that a handsome repast had been ordered that morning, feeling sure that it would be ready to the minute, and indulging in pleasant anticipations of the charming effect it would produce, when his pretty wife came running out to meet him, he escorted his friend to his mansion, with the irrepressible satisfaction of a young host and husband."

And then he was horrified that the door was locked and the house still dirty with "yesterday's mud"... he goes inside to discover what the problem is. Finding his wife in a teary, sobbing pile of stickiness, and when she explains the problem is just spoiled jelly, he laughs and says "Don't cry, dear, but just exert yourself a bit, and knock us up something to eat. We're both (his pal and himself) hungry as hunters..." Perhaps, this whole situation is meant to be funny.... but I could only roll my eyes. What ensued was a battle of wills that I was thought was very silly on both their parts. They each had determined, silently, to be "calm and kind, but firm" and be sure the other was shown "their duty" and deemed that they each deserved the first apology and spent a chill evening fuming inwardly while being well composed and polite outwardly.

Now, I suppose this situation could be a parallel to situations we might find ourselves today, and it is a good example of needing to be reasonable in expectations and practicing effective communications.. and I do agree that it was clear that someone needed to soften and be the first to apologize, but I did not care much for Ms. Alcott's description of the resolution. John was being a pooper and was essentially ignoring Meg up until the "penitent kiss" fell on his forehead. To be honest, I didn't get the feeling that they'd learned much from this episode.. they didn't seem to change the status-quo of bringing over people suddenly and so she just worked harder at being more gracious and perfect. But I guess they found their balance in the end and they were blessed with twins and everything was all better.. but I still found this chapter more than a little tiresome.

Chapter 29
And THIS chapter I was just befuddled by. Amy and Jo run around doing their social calls on their friends and neighbors. To try and do as Amy instructs, Jo acts very strangely and out of character and in general musses up each visit and Amy gets frustrated. The last visit they each essentially ignore each other and they have a good time, though Jo gets dirty and Amy is still upset.

I could see merit in both girls arguments for how to behave. Amy insists that Jo be dressed in her finest clothes and behave herself well. And Jo comments that "if people care more for my clothes than they do for me, I don't wish to see them."
It is good to be polite and treat people nicely, but at the same time.. people should like you for you.

So, they go about their visiting and during the final call, they visit Aunt March. Jo comports herself in a way that she feels is true to herself, yet in the end (as always) she upsets Aunt March and Amy is full of charm and is amiable. They essentially were being measured and, in being herself, Jo ultimately "deprived herself of several years of pleasure, and received a timely lesson in the art of holding her tongue (Chapter 29, pg. 306)". And the chapter ends with a bit of an air of mystery with Aunt March saying cryptically, "You'd better do it, Mary; I'll supply the money," and Aunt Carrol replied decidedly, "I certainly will, if her father and mother consent."

Knowing something of the story, I know this is where it is decided that Amy will go to Europe and not Jo, even though she originally was promised the trip. So, it seems that we are to take away from this chapter that it is important to be civil and to know when to hold your tongue, and I do agree that there is much to be admired in being polite and well behaved. But I wonder if there isn't also merit in being true to oneself. Jo is a little coarse, but she is honest. I think that is admirable as well.

Homemaker; Daughter of God

Summaries:

Chapter 24: A bridge between book 1 and book 2, this chapter also gives a description of Meg & John's new home & a brief look at the preparations for their wedding.

Chapter 25: Meg's wedding. If she couldn't have a temple wedding, this has got to be the next best thing. Kudos to her for keeping the simplicity that she wanted, and three cheers to her family for supporting her in it!

Chapter 26: Amy tries various artistic endeavors with varying success. She also invites a bunch of girls over, but it rains on her party, and only 1 girl comes on the "rain date." Marme hopes that Amy learned not to pretend to be more or less than she is or has.


Ponderings:

Looking at Kate's comments about the house, I'm not sure that I agree. I think that a lot of the reason that the narrative focuses on Meg & "Meg's house" is because it's a story about the girls, from a Jo-centric perspective. John is really a bit character, for all that he's to be Meg's husband. Jo is still in denial about their little nest breaking up. She's convinced that the rest of them still have several years before they get married, even though Amy is constantly receiving attention from Laurie's friends. In addition, because the focus is on the March girls, the focus naturally falls upon her preparations to go from homemaker-in-training to Homemaker-in-chief.

One thing that I loved about chapter 24 was the comments on the beautiful gifts and services that Meg's family & friends had done for her as she prepares to manage her own home:

People who hire all these things done for them never know what they lose, for the homeliest tasks get beautified if loving hands do them, and Meg found so many proofs of this that everything in her small nest, from the kitchen roller to the silver vase on her parlor table, was eloquent of home love and tender forethought. -page 237

I've recently been coming to a similar conclusion myself, though I don't think I would have been able to say it so nicely! Gifts, particularly hand-made gifts, are physical reminders of the love of friends and family. And because they made all her ordinary things, sheets & dishcloths, in addition to giving her things that you might think of as more "regular" gifts, vases and paintings, she will remember her family's love as she uses them in ordinary, every day chores. And really, you use a dishcloth much more often than you notice a vase or a painting! At least, I do. Even when I love it (such as the painting my sister made me), it tends to fade into the background. Maybe the sheets & things would do the same. I don't know. But I remember thinking that the dishcloth Sister C. gave us, hand knitted, was the coolest thing! I recently started knitting and I hope that the things I've given away have said, "I love you and even the mundane things you do are important enough to recognize and enjoy."

The focus on Meg's new home seems fitting in light of Mrs. March's ambition for her daughters:

I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good; to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives... To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. ... My dear girls, I am ambitious for you... make this home happy, so that you may be fit for homes of your own, if they are offered to you, and contented here if they are not." -Chapter 9, page 99-100.

I think she was onto something. President Benson also spoke highly of the domestic art of homemaking:

“Teach your daughters to prepare for life’s greatest career—that of homemaker, wife, and mother. Teach them to love home because you love home. Teach them the importance of being a full-time mother in the home.

“My eternal companion has wisely counseled mothers: ‘Radiate a spirit of contentment and joy with homemaking. You teach by example your attitude toward homemaking. Your attitude will say to your daughters, ‘I am only a housewife.’ Or it will convey, ‘Homemaking is the highest, most noble profession to which a woman might aspire.’ ”

Like so many other aspects of this book, I find this section inspires me to be a bit better at keeping my own home. So many of the comfortable ways these girls were raised with are a thing of the past, and I think that our homes suffer for it. Sure, it's a lot of work to keep a home nice, but we are commanded not to be idle. Our homes are supposed to be "house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God... " (D&C 109:8) I have been finding my own efforts at homemaking to be somewhat wanting and have been working on improving myself in this area recently. I still have a long way to go before I can do it as well as Mrs. March. I suspect that even Meg would be able to teach me a thing or two about getting things done and still having time for some of the other things I like to do. Or she might just tell me that there is so much that is easier for me, due to modern conveniences, that I should roll up my sleeves, do the little work I have to do, and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Another Beginning

My Ponderings:

Chapter 24
Time has passed and we fast forward our story a little and it's three years later. Our characters have continued and progressed, and now it is time for Meg's much anticipated wedding.

I found the description of the little home that was put together for the new Brooke Family a little bit on the annoying side. I recognize that it's probably fitting with the time this book is set, but it struck me a little peculiar that the little house seemed to be only referred to as "Meg's house" or a "house for Meg". John Brooke put in a lot of effort to earn for it and prepare it, but it was never "their house" or "our house", it was just for Meg.

And I must admit, before Ms. Alcott was done, I was a little tired of hearing about how wonderful a woman Meg was for all the housekeeping she was prepping for and eagerly anticipating and for doing it all herself.

"Yes, mother, I'm sure of that, " said Meg, listening respectfully to the little lecture; for the best of women will hold forth upon the all-absorbing subject of housekeeping. (Chapter 24, pg. 249)

"That's a housewifely taste which I am glad to see. I had a young friend who set up housekeeping with six sheets, but she had finger bowls for company, and that satisfied her," said Mrs. March, patting the damask tablecloths, with a truly feminine appreciation of their fineness. (Chapter 24, pg. 250)

Yes, cleaning is good. Yes, often it is the wife who does much of those thing.. ok. Enough with the exalting of it all already! To be honest, I wasn't super bothered by it really, but it did definitely make me roll my eyes :)

Chapter 25
I love the opening to this chapter:

The June roses over the porch were awake bright and early on that morning, rejoicing with all their hearts in the cloudless sunshine, like friendly little neighbors, as they were. Quite flushed with excitement were their ruddy faces, as they swung in the wind, whispering to one another what they had seen; for some peeped in at the dining-room windows, where the feast was spread, some climbed up to nod and smile at the sisters as they dressed the bride, others waved a welcome to those who came and went on various errands in garden, porch, and hall , and all, from the rosiest full-blown flower to the palest baby-bud, offered their tribute of beauty and fragrance to the gentle mistress who had loved and tended them so long. (Chapter 25, pg. 255)

I love how that she uses the flowers as the "narrators", artfully drawing us right back into the action of our story. We ended with Meg tending the yard and dreaming of what it could look like, and three years later we return and the roses are blooming and adding a fragrant touch to the beautiful wedding site.

Also, I thought it was really cool that Meg kept the ceremony and decorations so simple. They were quite the contrast to the thought she had had earlier when she "felt some disappointment at the humble way in which the new life must begin... Meg couldn't help contrasting [the Moffat's] fine house and carriage, many gifts, and splendid outfit, with her own, and secretly wishing she could have the same (Chapter 24, pg. 245)."

I thought it was quite the testimony to her love of John, as well as her development from girl to woman, that she would have that secret wish but recognize that those things were nothing much when compared to the "patient love and labor John had put into the little home..." and that "when they sat together... talking over their small plans, the future always grew so beautiful and bright that she forgot Sallie's splendor, and felt herself the richest, happiest girl in Christendom (pg. 245)." And then on page 255 we read: "Neither silk, lace nor orange-flowers would she have. "I don't want to look strange or fixed up to-day," she said. "I don't want a fashionable wedding, but only those about me whom I love, and to them I wish to look and be my familiar self." I really thought that was a beautiful way to view a wedding and marriage.

Chapter 26
This chapter seemed a return to Ms. Alcott's trend of mixing lessons with her story. In contrast to Meg's humble wedding (which Ms. Alcott clearly felt was the best, and most honest way to have it), Amy goes all out to put together a party for some girls she knows from school. She wishes for it to be a lavish and grand party, so that they will feel comfortable and enjoy themselves, despite her lack of funds. Then, in the end, despite the much effort and money spent on the event, only one girl attended the party. It seemed to me that the lesson here is not to pretend to be something we are not, even if we think it may impress others; to represent ourselves honestly.

Mrs. March seemed to think that Amy's plan was wanting in wisdom, and tried to talk her out of it. However, Amy was obstinate and Mrs. March conceded.

I really liked this quote though:

Mrs. March knew that experience was an excellent teacher, and when it was possible she left her children to learn alone the lessons which she would gladly have made easier, if they had not objected to taking advice as much as the did salts and senna (Chapter 26, pg. 266).

That really resonated with me. How often do we fall victim to embarrassment or trouble due to our own stubbornness and disregard for counsel or advice from those who may see a larger picture or have greater experience? At least for me, it's more frequently than I might like :) I felt it was nice to have this little story as a small reminder.